advent is the name of that moment.

This December, it has been easy for me to align myself with the mindset of hope and expectation. Maybe it;s from the hope and persistent waiting in all the Old Testament stories that I've been reading, maybe it's the smell of my "a toast to cider" candle, maybe it's the Christmas lights and soft lamps that I see every morning on my way to work... but whatever it is, it has filled me with peace. And hope.

"You are aware of the beating of your heart... The extraordinary thing that is about to happen is matched only by the extraordinary moment just before it happens. Advent is the name of that moment." - Frederick Buechner

I held another cooking club after school, and we made reindeer cake balls (thank you, Bakerella!) My kids really enjoyed them and ever got creative. Not shown in the picture are the dog and unicorn balls.

We also made sweet-potato-apple bake and a cinnamon-raisin risotto-like rice. (Easier than risotto because it required no stirring, because we needed all hands on deck for the reindeer.)

My Spanish skills are slightly improving - I happened to understand one full sentence of my students' conversation and they now think I understand everything they say. For the most part, that's a good thing. Now they have to censor themselves in Spanish and English.

What else have I been learning? It's hard to love people sometimes. (Or some people all the time.) I have an implicit checklist of who I have more patience and love for... and that is not the kind of love that God calls us to give. I was reading a friend's blog and came across the following - it voices what I've been all-too-happy to not let myself think about.

I let go of my right...
-To be happy -To have an attractive body -To health
-To my possessions -To my time -To comfort
-To my past -To my recreation or activity -To my habits
-To wealth -To my future plans and dreams -To self-sufficiency
-To control-To have consequences follow what I've done -To my satisfaction
-To my significance -To my securities -To prosper
-To strength-To know future outcomes
-To my old ways of getting my needs met
-To getting my way -To my reputation -To success
-To notoriety-To my feelings -To my choices
-To my occupation -To be loved -To know God's will
-To demand anything from God -To life itself -To be used by God
-To escape bad circumstances -To fear -To my opinions
-To my judgments -To my timing -To judge
-To emotional security -To my expectations -To be accepted
-To pleasant circumstances -To be understood -To be married
-To my geographical location -To be thanked or appreciated
-To be acknowledged -To have relationships
-To have a child-To have a happy marriage
-To blame -To be rescued-To tell others what I know
-To rescue another -To be heard-To be needed or wanted
-To meet others' needs -To be right-To have others' approval
-To good finances -To take offense-To have justice done
-To defend -To my entitlements -To be justified

Getting splashed

• The first practice was today - the swimmers had to swim 1500 to prove that they could swim, so it wasn't really a practice-of-practices. I did get to meet a few people (we'll see whose names I remember next week) and cheer on some people too. I like it. I don't think people realize how much fun it is to be on the pool deck in clothes. This position is a big blessing, and I now found out that I am not needed at morning practices (which is a mixed blessing, I guess, since I was looking forward to them.) I'll probably try to go to morning practices when I can't go to the afternoon practices. Because I'm really comfortable on the pool deck and in this setting, I'm viewing it as a big blessing before I apply to teach this age next year. Who knows - maybe I'll get to tutor some calculus/ geometry/ trigonometry this year with the swimmers!
• Free pretzel sticks at Max & Erma's still! (Oh, maybe I shouldn't admit that again.) 
• Friends that you can be yourself with. Not that they like every single part of me, but that I know I can act however I'm feeling (sad, joyful, immature, giggly) and they will accept it. Example: I was taught how to play chess today - see a synopsis below.
• Him: Do you want to play chess?
• Me: I only know two things about chess. The horse moves up two and over one (or up one and over two) and the phrase 'king me.'
• Him: Silence.
• Me: Okay, I take back the second thing. 
• So then we are sitting at Cup O Joe and I am scrambling to see all the moves, reminding myself over and over again that "us mathematicians" are supposed to be good at chess and like it. Magically, (after about one hour of a game) I captured his queen. I may or may not have shrieked an evil cackle that made some other tables laugh. Of course, I still managed to just get a draw and not actually win, but you can be sure that all of my captured pieces were watching with rapt attention, organized by height and importance on the side of the board. It makes me smile that I can let my silly ideas out and people don't throw me out the door.
• Sleep. It restores us (physically, mentally, and cognitively). Animals sleep. Humans sleep. Why do we require 8ish hours of sleep? We could have been created like other animals that don't need very much sleep. I think it's because it reminds us that we're not invincible and forces us to step back, relax, and remember that we also have to rely on God. Plus, cool dreams. I remember my dreams probably 6 days out of 7. I also really enjoy dreams. Typically (when they're not nightmares), they're blessings.

"Do you realize if it weren't for Edison, we'd be watching TV by candlelight?" - Al Boliska

Shortly - 

• Thankful for warm houses, heat, electricity and lights, the ability to communicate with friends who live far away... all these things that technology brings us. What good inventions we have before us that we take for granted!
• That my plans never work out and God's always seem to. It just doesn't seem fair, but then, years/ months/ weeks/ hours later, I start to understand that I had tunnel vision and wasn't able to see what God sees. It makes me wonder how God sees this world - I'd imagine I'm just seeing a thimble-ful of the ocean... Or perhaps it's like the difference between looking at a picture of the mountains compared to seeing mountains in person. Or looking at a picture of someone compared to seeing them. Although I did read a study that looking at a picture of a significant other produces the same neurological reactions that drugs does. Ke$ha was right - love is a drug. 
• Gift of joy and optimism. I guess this is not something that everybody has. I am in no way saying that I am always happy or always positive (because I know you could all prove me wrong) but I think that generally, I see the positives in the world around me, and I trained myself a little bit but mostly it came naturally. For example, I don't worry about the slushy-ugliness of snow - instead I think of snowflakes that sit on my nose and eyelashes, and sliding down giant parking-lot piles of snow. I think this joy in life is a huge blessing, and I am so glad that most of the time, it is easy for me to access this part of me.

but God will not take away life ---

• "We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and He devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast." - II Samuel 14:14. If there is ever something to be blessed with, I suppose that verse about sums it up. (Hey! I love it when I can work that phrase into a post.) This was spoken before we knew what God's mean was going to be (Jesus) so it's kind of a nice little pre-emptive promise to David (remember, he's our imperfect leader.)
• Swimming! This was already on the list, but that was for me swimming. There is one thing that I tend to feel blessed about more than swimming, and that's making other people swim. I took a job today as an assistant swim coach for a nearby district who is coaching their three high schools with one staff. Practice starts Friday, so I don't have much time to prepare, but I am super-duper excited about this opportunity. I tried telling my roommate about it and she said it didn't sound that fun ("Practices twice a day? Sounds horrible.") to which I responded a little quip about how it will be ten times easier to get out of bed knowing that I won't have to dive in the water. Plus - I get to run with the team in their afternoon practice! The coach was really pleased that I'm a runner because he thinks it helps makes the swimmers tougher, so I'll be running with different groups every week, probably more than once a week (groups run four days of the week, but I don't know what my role will actually be. Possibly running with them four days.) I think this is a huge blessing because the time commitment sounds like nothing to me. I am really excited to work with high schoolers, smell pools every day, work out, deal with headcases like me, and:
• This one deserves its own bullet: Early morning car rides in the dark with no radio on are my favorite start to the day. Dark or almost dawn. Few cars. The closest to the smell of nature that one finds in Columbus. Quiet. Tranquil. I cannot wait. And just to reiterate, this is made ten (maybe eleven) times better that I don't have to dread a cold pool at the end of the drive. I paid my dues for eight years, though, so I will not rub it in any swimmer's faces.
• Soreness. In anticipation of the interview today, I knew I needed to look the part of a hard-core swimmer, so I lifted weights this morning for the first time since before the marathon. I love the feeling of soreness - it's confirmation that I worked hard, that my muscles are still there, and that I deserve the Bakery Gingham Buckeye cupcake and cookie dough ice cream after dinner... Okay, maybe not always that. But the fact that I am able to work out (time and ability) and that it relaxes me is a blessing.
• Baptisms! My church has a baptism service this weekend. I take this for granted, but I'd love if this berakah were realized more in my life, just how much it actually means for us!

"this ain't no thinking thing, right-brain, left-brain, it goes a little deeper than that."

• Certain aspects of who I am. When I share my ambidextrous-ness with others, the typical response is "Are you right-brained or left-brained?" I then share that I was a math major and English minor. I like using both sides of my brain. For my cognition class, I found a free quiz on which "brain" I am, and it proved the following: 

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

I am both. This makes me smile and think of all the cool things I can do connecting types of thinking and types of material that might not normally run smoothly together.
UPDATE: I no longer like this test. Either I am only friends with like-minded people or everybody is perfectly equal, and I also have no psychic friends. Sad day.

• Imperfect leaders. That doesn't sound like a berakah, but it is. Think of King David from the Bible - he was a good leader, right? Wrong. He had so many issues - committing adultery and then leading his army into a battle purposely so that the adulteress' husband would die - his children rape and kill each other - doesn't see his wrongdoings, etc. Yet through him, God performed so many good things. I could take this two ways - 1. to say "God can use me too!" (which He can, and does) and 2. to realize that no matter who gets elected, no matter what kind of leader we're following in the government, church, family, anywhere... no one will be a good leader. We are always voting on the leader that we think will bring society to perfection, rid the community of violence, poverty, bad educational systems, etc., and I have previously failed to connect that desire to the Israelites' desire for a king. We are all in search of a King. We are all in search of someone that's going to fix what's wrong. And the imperfect leaders remind us of that desire and that need.
• Songs. I love song lyrics and the ease with which they connect me to emotions (which are buried deep-down inside) and certain people, certain situations, and times of my life. I can't hear "I try" by Macy Gray without thinking of a seventh-grade track meet when someone sang it stepping off the bus. I just got the new Taylor Swift cd and like the songs. 
• Swimming. The smell of chlorine (or clorox, or any bleach.) It is like a relaxant - the smell and the movement. Maybe I will go swimming today... 

A life of berakot for a week of Yes-vember

Remember my "Learning to Pray Like Jesus" class? I almost didn't. I had started to forget how many devout Jewish pray-ers lived a life of berakot (blessings). Their acknowledgment of blessings infiltrated their whole life, not just their prayer life. (There's a brief definition here.) And a little more detailed information here that says practicing Jewish persons are supposed to pray a prayer of berakah 100 times a day. Maybe when I return home, I'll find my notes and be able to give you more details. Or you can click on the label "berakah" to read about it, although some of them are simply labeled "berakah" because they are things I was thankful for.

In the spirit of fall, and a time when I've recognized that I spend very little time deeply reflecting on anything, and a time when it's really easy for me to be happy because it is blue and sunny and time for neutral-colored clothes and sweaters and hot chocolate and applesauce and snuggling under an OSU blanket - I am going to write one post per day this week, recognizing what blessings I have and what I feel blessed with.  (For those of you who have seen me really chattery and know just how annoyingly positive I can be, don't worry; the lists will be non-exhaustive.)

I know some will seem very shallow, some might actually appear negative, and some will be so insightful that you'll wish you could have voted for me for governor, but my goal for the week is to put only things that I do feel grateful for or blessed with, and to reflect on the berakot that I list. I'm hoping not all are shallow.

Please leave comments of berakot in your life - or if they're personal, call or text me because I'd like learning them about you.

Today's Berakot:

• Free pretzel sticks at Max & Erma's this week with a "good neighbor" card!
• Blue skies, crisp fall weather, a new (er, return to an old) office with a window that I can stare out of. And apparently, write blog posts and eat apples instead of getting work done. This leads into another blessing of not having very much work this morning so that this window-cubicle-distraction is acceptable.
• Friends who don't mind watching a movie on my computer screen, as it sits on top of a TV tray, as we cram onto a sofa bed. (Yes, we pull out the sofa bed to watch movies. I think four might be our maximum number of viewers though.)
• Friends who ask me how I'm doing - and do it so that I know they want a real, true answer. My roommate is careful to do this, and yesterday at church, two girls came up to ask me how I was and said "We know you have an I'm-Julie-so-I'm-okay thing, but we really want to know how you are." I loved it. Except... I was okay, so I felt a little bit like I had to make up a more detailed answer. Okay, as this berakah is evolving, I'm really expanding it to friendships in general, because I have felt very affirmed in my friendships the past few days.
• Free doughnuts in the staff room! (or rather... doughnuts sitting out in the break room that nobody is guarding.)
• Pretty work clothes. See "trouser pants."
• Leadership roles.
• Babies!! I love my friend's baby (her name is Ella.) I have lots of pictures of her on my phone. That's what I do when her mommy leaves us alone. Also, I teach Ella about chlorophyll and what makes a triangle a triangle.
• Joy - I am an optimistic person (except for in certain areas of my life) and think joy comes to me pretty naturally. I am really thankful that I see positives and beauty in the world around me.

(New recipes) by (activities) and (thoughts) over (rusted pipes)

Supposedly, I just shared my spring break photo album on blogger. We'll see if that actually happens after I type this post. I led a group of 6 undergrads around Columbus and we served with different organizations every day, tried new desserts, and I learned that cows can have runny noses.

I tried a new recipe called baked oatmeal - you bake it in a pan and it has an "oat-cake" consistency but it can be eaten like pancakes, with fruit, syrup, etc. Loved it! I also made tasty sour cream pound cakes but without pictures, I feel like I have no proof! Maybe I'll make them in my mini bundt cake pans...

Summing up school (in this case, just teaching Child Development): Can I say (and will anyone be surprised?) I forgot how much I enjoy sitting in front of a group of people who have to listen to me. It's like I'm sitting in front of 120 people who not only have to listen, but can't really respond. (Obviously, that's a bit of an exaggeration and I hope it's more active than that, but they still get to hear all my stories.) I found out I'll be presenting a paper at the Society for Prevention Research in Denver this June - once I know something about what I'm presenting and how the politics will all play out, I'll let you all in on the delectable piece of knowledge.

New activities! Remember my New Year's resolution to learn something new? How about soccer? Rock climbing (not really new, but a re-start.)? Catching a Frisbee under my leg? That was my previous week. I scored a goal - when the goalie was actually guarding, no less - and I enjoyed it, "retro" shoes and all. I rock-climbed a 2+ without failing, except for the safety portion... Minor setback. Catching the Frisbee under my leg was not my greatest success story, as my strategy was to just pick up a leg (any leg) and simply try to catch the frisbee, whether my hand was behind my leg, on the other side of my body, or waving above my head. One piece at a time.

Let me sum up power steering for you: You. Want. It.
Let me sum up repair on the power-steering-fluid-pipe-thing: You don't want to have to repair it.


Lastly, I want to sum up a little about my thoughts on Easter this year. Last year, I was not a happy camper at Easter - and I remember pitiful-ole-Julie whining to God, "Why meeee?? What a hoooorrible weekend!" (In the same tone that a little towhead once whined about not getting chocolate for Easter.)
Then, realizing that as glorious as Easter is, the first Easter was a much more horrible weekend. Why?
Because the people that were convinced that Jesus was the Messiah had just watched Him die. They completely lost their hope. You know the despair.com namesake demotivator? It's a picture of a sunset with the phrase, "It's always darkest just before it's pitch black." That's what the disciples were going through. On Thursday, they watched Jesus get arrested. Pretty bleak. But maybe,  if He's really God - they'd say - he'll save himself! On Friday, they see Him die and get taken down to a tomb. Er - more black. Could this get any worse?
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: YEEEESSSS.
Saturday was the Sabbath day for the Jews - which meant they weren't permitted to work or distract themselves with any activity, including cooking. They went to the temple and would have had to worship their God, knowing that the man they thought was their Savior had died. And from sunup to sundown, they would have been able to do virtually nothing but think. Now that's black. And Sunday morning rolls around, even blacker. The beliefs were that the spirit left a dead body after three days. Sunday was the third day - there was absolutely no hope left. No god could do anything now - Jesus was really dead. What a suck-y weekend.

What a great God, who, as we know by now, did rise on the third day.

What a way to make someone feel bad for whining.

With such a great few previous weeks, I found myself wishing that I were in want and could understand more about the significance of Easter weekend and the spirit of waiting and leaning on God.

In summary - "He is not here, for He has risen!" - Matthew 28:6a

I've always disliked when people replace "love" with heart. Until it became a necessity.

Picture-ful blog entry for your entertainment! (Solely yours - not mine. Not one bit.)

We have about 21 inches of snow on the back porch. Here I am trying to make a snow angel but my arms are kind of stuck. I'm daydreaming about everything I can do with snow. What are some reasons I like snow? It's gorgeous, it's angelic, and when you run in it, people think you're hard-core. First up - a snow turtle. Snow man wasn't going to work out. Apparently, you need something called "skills" for that. And I know I can make apple-peanut butter-marshmallow smiles, but snow sculptures are on a different playing field. Mainly because there's no edible incentive afterward.

I've always thought that if the tortoise and the hair raced again, this guy would lose. Well, this turtle definitely would, because head is an ice block. While I was working on all my projects (more to come!), Mom set about making an abstract piece of art. See below.

At one point, she asked, "Do you need anything? A shovel? Icycle?"
Julie: "Artistic talent?"
But, as you can verify below -

I am an excellent swiss cheese sculpturer. I think there's also a Mayan god that I was sculpting joweled-hunchback man (oh, excuse me - a man with large jowels and a hunchback) and he definitely wants to break into the cheese round. Don't worry: he's got company.

It's the ancient hippopotamus god, Mohawk-opotamus! (The mohawk actually is on purpose!) He's also here for some cheese. There is an icicle in the middle of it, like a toothpick, that isn't in the frame.

My crowning glory (crown and glory? What is that phrase?) is this man. I use the word man loosely. He's presiding over the cheese distribution with a miniature-icicle-organ to use at his discretion. This stern figure has arms wrapping behind his back, ears, and a teeny bit of a jawline! Also, an Elvis hairdo. And if you could see over the deck to the backyard, you'd see the heads of about six men who just weren't shaped for the job. (Yay, puns!)

The title of my post I begrudgingly bring up here. "I love love love love snow!!!!!!!" is too long. Really, if we remember that I'm now a photographer and not wearing gloves, "I love snow" is long. So, for the first time in my life - at least since seventh grade, when I heart'd just about any boy who made me giggle:

I know life could be better... but I sure don't know how!

Today was a great day, and I didn't even document everything that was wonderful. Not pictured: hot fudge lava cake from Cap City Diner. God's amazing grace and His love that goes exceedingly, abundantly above all we could ask or imagine (or often feel.) Friends. 

What you do see is: 

Glorious snow! Columbus almost has the record depth recorded in a long time (which, sorry, is still nothing compared to Grand Rapids.) Above: spelling out hi Exclamation Mark in the parking lot, with my pink rain (er, snow) boot as the dot. The snow is up high enough and my real snow boots have lost their comfortable and waterproofed layer for me to giddily prance and Charleston through the snow in my slush-proof, drift-proof pink boots. Thank you, Target, for making these six years ago and selling them for cheap because they weren't cool yet.

Besides snow, my day started out with homemade blueberry pancakes with lemon zest from a simple mix, like this one. Behind it is rice and black beans, to which I added nacho cheese - delectable. The only thing made from a box is that oddly-colored vanilla pudding: tastes normal (mostly) but it's a very funny shade of yellow. That is just one example of why I don't use mixes: when you mess up something from scratch, it's okay, everybody does it. When you mess up something from a box, people look at you funny. But at least I have never forgotten to add the brownie mix to the oil and eggs! (Side note: Yes, I am fully aware that sometimes I have cravings like a pregnant woman. Rice and nacho cheese? Electric pudding? Lava cake?)

Amazing thing that happened today - free tickets to Ingrid and Mat next month. That's right, free. Ingrid Michaelson and Mat Kearney are two of my very favorite people - I even refer to them on a first-name basis - and I was stoked to be holding these tickets... free of charge. I knew I came to OSU for a reason.

Other great things that you'll be hearing more about later - books I'm reading and my pending trip to Calvin to see the conference meet. Broken-Down House has talked about how true faith requires trust, not understanding - I'm working on that... Divine Nobodies is on my list of books to read this weekend, and Alf the Sky  - oops, that's Half the Sky is a book by Nicholas Kristof, a New York Times contributor, on "turning oppression into opportunity worldwide." Want to hear about current forms of slavery and sexual abuse? Want to know what we can do? Ask me, or read that book. Or read a recent article of his (shorter than the book and very informative and moving.)

oh-so-good

What I learned today:

1. Endogenous variables can not have covariances in a path diagram. Redundant, implied in other parameters.

2. Setting the variance of an endogenous variable is a non-linear constraint because the variance is implied with other parameters.

3. God is oh-so-good. Like, really. He's great. (Surprise, right?) I had some amazing "teachable moments" that God kind of plopped in my lap, and I am frequently amazed at the things He does, and how quickly I forget what He does even seeing every grand thing. And folks, prayer is important. Please pray for my friend who is hospitalized, and for her family. She's been improving but there's a lot of room left for improvement.

4. Things that I think are big deals... usually aren't.


"Be still, and know that I am God;
       I will be exalted among the nations,
       I will be exalted in the earth.
 The LORD Almighty is with us;
       the God of Jacob is our fortress.
       Selah."
 - Psalm 46:10-11

Caramelizing your dreams... Delicious.

I made a delicious meal the other day - if I may say so myself. I recently rented a cookbook from the library (A Year in a Vegetarian Kitchen) and found a recipe for the slow-cooking, caramelized onions. This recipe required me to open up a bottle of wine (thank you, online directions!) which I completed successfully.
After slicing the onions, you cook them for a few minutes (until soft) in butter or olive oil, then add white wine to the pan and let the onions simmer for about 30 minutes. Then, the lid comes off and you stir constantly so that the "brown goo" (book's words!) gets incorporated into the onions for another 25-30 minutes. Sorry that there are no measurements, but that's not really my cooking style. I mean, who really wants to clean out a half-cup, and a whole-cup, and a teaspoon... when estimations rarely* mess up?
*Note: ALWAYS measure baking powder and baking soda. ALWAYS. Or it's gross.

There's the browning onions. Cooking these onions meant I had to use them, so my next thought was "What can I eat these with?" So I cooked up some Giant Eagle tri-color tortellini, red bell pepper, and broccolini. That's a real vegetable! When the tortellini was almost done, I put the veggies into the water to steam them.

I paired it with white sauce from More with Less (yes, you knew that was coming...) which is just some melted better, some flour (really, measurements here just make it thinner/ thicker. I think it's 2 T of each?) After that gets all clumpy (yum?), you add in 1 c milk (ooor you add in some dry milk powder and water without measuring and just spend the rest of the cook time trying to fix the consistency) and I also added in some cheese and the caramelized onions to make the pasta sauce. I broiled bread with butter and garlic powder for garlic toast, as you can see in the background.

And it was delicious. Sprinkled with parmesan.

You might be asking yourself, "Julie, why are you doing this food thing? You are not as good at photographing, much less cooking, as Bakerella, Joy the Baker, Technicolor-Kitchen ... (insert other good ones in the comments!) And you don't really redeem yourself with the so-called "writing skills" either."

To you, I say ... "So what?"

Just kidding. To you, I say - there's a metaphor behind this one! Sometimes, you have a great idea - something you really want (like caramelized onions). And you can daydream about caramelized onions, but there are some logistical things you have to think through first. Such as, what does "dry white wine" mean? Answer: cheapest wine at Giant Eagle. And "What time is okay to buy wine on a Monday morning since they don't sell it on Sunday evenings?" Answer: At least 8:40 am! Beyond the logistics, there are accompaniments. I started with my idea of the gooey, sweet, brown onions, and compiled a healthy(-ish) meal. I needed a grain, some vegetables... And I wanted it all to taste good together.

It was an analogy for this dream of forming a community/ household that's intentional about forming relationships with each other and with the community around. I've got a few conversations scheduled with pastors to start the conversation, but I'd love to hear more thoughts. I've got the dream - and it has the potential to be better than caramelized onions. I do need to think through the logistics (set it up as a 501-3c? Contracts?) and through accompaniments, like what it would look like. Some of you have started to send met other programs - keep doing it! I'm welcoming knowledge, advice, anything but a "this is stupid and onions give you bad breath anyway." (Time to quit the metaphor? Fine.)

My mother and I are enjoying each other's company and cooking a pre-Thanksgiving dinner tonight, including:
Butternut Squash with Mustard Vinaigrette
Stuffed Turkey Rolls with Cranberry
And for dessert... This. That's right. I did it.

like Matt Nathanson, I get by with little victories

I was making these delicious treats using my new apron (and switching shortening for butter, as always with cookies) and took some pictures for you. The two pictures illustrate a song that I remember from my Girl Scout days. Be sure to hold your cursor over the pictures to see the scrollover text and you, too, can get the song stuck in your head.

In an effort to act superior, I'm going to spew some facts at you. Blame it on my More with Less cookbook and trying to eat like Jesus! I don't see anything morally wrong with eating meat, but I've decided to reduce my meat consumption so that most of my meals are vegetarian or use meat as an accent, rather than the main dish, as I've heard most non-U.S. countries do anyway.

Turns out, meat production is pretty harmful for the environment (I'm going to skip the obvious harm for the animals.) According to vegetarian.about.com, with real citations listed at the end of the articles, I learned that more than 1/3 of all fossil fuels produced in the US go toward animal agriculture; ten times the amount of carbon dioxide is emitted from a calorie of meat than a plant protein... and that going vegan for a year reduces more emissions than driving a hybrid car.

As for water usage, a pound of beef requires about 2500 gallons of water to produce, whereas a pound of soy requires 250 gallons and a pound of wheat 25 gallons. So, although I've spent over a year learning to shower in under 5 minutes, by going meatless, I could exchange the water I'm saving for encores in my shower concerts! Which might explain why my family/ housemates never really support my meatless endeavors...

With 6 billion people (plus some, but who's counting?), obviously one person is not going to make a difference. But if enough people are doing it - I sure don't want to be the one person who's holding us back!

I'd love meatless or barely-there meat recipes that you enjoy, and if you want any recipes from me, just comment/ send me a note! Links to recipe pages in the comments section so all can see, or emails are fine as well.

If you're feeling up to it, I challenge you to eat only one meated-meal a day - or no meat-centered meals for a week. Let me know how it goes - I have a really hard time obeying at restaurants. (Eddie George, why do bacon bits make your macaroni irresistable?)

i did not write this. not even a little.

Introduction To Poetry, by Billy Collins

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

"It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we."
- GK Chesterton. Because he sums God's joy up much better than I.

"I knew things were going to turn around some time!"

I went to St. Louis for the end of my spring break and it was a lot of fun. We saw the arch, the art museum, Missouri Botanical Garden, the St. Louis Walk of Fame (although it was rainy) and a myriad of restaurants and basketball games.

Kate Chopin is one of my favorite authors. I'm sure there was something saddening and artistic I could do with her description halfway underwater, but since it was currently raining, I felt no real need for inspiration. Alas, to quote Kate herself, "so the storm passed and everyone was happy."












Yogi Berra, born in The Hill (close to where I stayed.)







































Our gelato server inspired me. I found a penny under the counter, and told him as I dropped the penny in, "Look, a penny for you!" He responded with (not despondently or sarcastically), "I knew things were going to turn around sometime!"
What a joyful outlook! I've also been reminded the past few days that it's not always about God answering with a yes or no to our decisions, but it's about us honoring God with our choices. That's helped me as I thought about racing at Nationals, as I think about The Future, as I contemplate the trappings of life... And who knew, the deliverer of good gelato was also a deliverer of good news!

And on the 8th day, He made chocolate ice cream.

Navajo Fry Bread
Sift into a bowl:
4 1/2 cups flour
1/3 c dry milk powder(optional)
1/2 t. salt
2 t. baking powder
Stir in:
1 1/2 c water
1/2 c milk




Knead with hands. Pat or roll into circles approximately 5" in diameter (I tried to flatten mine as well.) With fingers make small hole in center. Fry in hot oil at 400 or MH. Dough puffs and bubbles. Turn when golden brown. Drain on absorbent paper and serve hot with honey, or use while fresh with:

Navajo Tacos
Spread Navajo Fry Bread with refried beans/other taco toppings (I cooked some onion and green peppers), then top with cheese. Broil until cheese melts.
Sprinkle generously with shredded lettuce.

It was very easy, and though you can only see Cara eating, the rest of my house stole some with honey and ate it too. It says it serves about six... Two tacos more than filled me up.

Second point on the agenda - I need tips on how to make an omelette. Because I keep desiring an omelette but end up eating scrambled eggs with toppings.

In the spirit of enjoying food and not taking it for granted, I'd like to leave you with a quote from Bonhoeffer'sLife Together:
God cannot endure that unfestive, mirthless attitude of ours in which we eat our bread in sorrow, with pretentious, busy haste, or even with shame. Through our daily meals He is calling us to rejoice, to keep holiday in the midst of our working day.

I challenge you to eat your meals with someone else - not standing up - slowly, putting your fork down in between bites - focused on the food and not the television/radio/dogs. (Well, maybe dogs, if that's who you're eating with...You know who you are...) THIS is the day the Lord has made (Psalm 118:24) - if we want to know joy, it must be THIS day. Today! Let us rejoice and be glad in it - in all of it, including the meals.

The future's so bright, I've got to wear... blinds?

Wolfe's Fables: Episode 1

Pogo had always lusted after Roller’s skills. His steady rhythm increased exponentially as he raced downhill. His laces were always tied just right, looking like a helmet or a sleek shell whenever he shot past. Unfortunately, as most skates were wont to do, he was well aware of his skill and bragged about it incessantly.
“I love the wind I feel when I SHOOT down the hill,” he boasted.
One day, Pogo snapped. He had enough with Roller’s bragging, no matter how cool he looked or how fast he skated.
“That’s it, Roller. I’m sick of your gloating. Let’s race.”
Pogo knew that he could boing higher than Roller. Who said he couldn’t make it downhill just as fast – or faster?
“You sure, Pogo? Yes? Then let’s roll.”
So even though Pogo had never practiced a descent, he boinged to the top of the hill. He visualized himself boinging down, flying past, hearing the audience’s cheers.
Go!” the starter cried.
Roller began rolling, leering back at Pogo. Pogo took a giant leap.
Unused to the grade, Pogo missed his landing, so Roller the show-off won, fair and square. He could have napped before Pogo finished. Pogo flopped home, affirming the value of restraint and readiness.



Some updates:

1. We are still out of heat - which is not really worth a big whine because this is the first time I've been in the house for more than 2 hours. Our heat broke Saturday, so I have spent most of the time at other people's houses (thanks, kids). It is supposed to be fixed tomorrow. Until then - slow typing by these fingers, I guess.

2. I heard a quote that I am going to butcher, but it said something about "theologians have one eye on the Bible and one eye on the newspaper." We really need to be aware of what is going on in the world in order to best work toward shalom.

3. Conference is this week!

4. Sunday, I heard about how God keeps His promises. In the book of Joshua, Caleb had 45 years to wait before He received the land God had promised him. Kind of crazy, and it makes me feel very impatient when I am wondering why I still "wait for answers" for WEEKS on end.

5. Saw these sunglasses at Target, and then at the movie theater Saturday night. This is what this blog title is about.

Humility, Autumn Film, a Byronic Hero, and some prepositions

You now have the privilege of reading the blog of a record holder in the 100 butterfly for two pools! Also, very humble. That's right, Calvin's pool (seeing as it was the first meet in the pool), and Alma College's pool on Saturday. (Both of them are the 100 fly.) I just wanted to put that out here before we have another meet in Calvin's pool and potentially I will only have one pool record after that. Having small goals and seeing them achieved really does remind me that God gives us enough for each day, as the sermon was about yesterday. (Also, God gave me great friends. And great, intertwining connections. And people with birthdays on Valentine's Day. I like all of you.)

I heard a new, amazing band named Autumn Film. Here is a video embedded for your enjoyment. They're making a new cd of rearranged hymns at some point, and the songs I've heard so far have been awesome.


Second semester classes start today - I'm taking Doctrine of God, History of Math (I didn't make that one up), Rock Climbing, Psychology (two of them) and Creative Writing. I got so excited for creative writing that I may have gotten a little obsessed over our interim break, thanks to a great suggestion from a friend and some old English notes. I would say, "YES! OMG!" (paraphrasing, since I've never said OMG and plan on never, ever actually saying it) and my housemates would say, "Another idea for your story?" And every time they said it, it was true. On the plus side, I feel like I've made new friends. Literally, made.

My English knowledge comes in handy for my summary of my prayer class: it's all about prepositions. We're not just praying TO Jesus. We are praying WITH Jesus, FOR Jesus (we should be praying as if it were Him praying), AS Jesus, ABOUT Jesus, and I think a lot of other prepositions work there as well. So we'll just leave it as "& etc."

"Just Because You Can't See the Sun Doesn't Mean it's not Shining"

Hope Meet: Yesterday was the Hope-Calvin meet at our new pool. The girls team won, and we had a lot of really good swims. I had a couple season-best times (I swam the 200 medley relay (butterfly), 200, 100, and 100 fly) and a lot of people on the team had season-bests as well. I'm not sure what we're cheering for there - the 400 free relay, I think - but Mom and Mark were here so they were timing. (I really should stop letting Mom time... Or teach Mark how to time multiple lanes. Someone gets too excited during good races, or races where me or my friends happen to be in the water.) AND the sun was shining yesterday amidst the frigid cold. But the title of this post is actually from an awesome Anathallo song.

On Friday, Cara and I did a trial run putting on our Blue Seventys: this is me at minute 15.

And Cara at minute 7.

This is me, 29 minutes later. Could've been quicker (it took Cara 22 minutes) but I was too busy taking pictures and wriggling around ungracefully. It is the right size - nothing ripped when I went into ta handstand. Molly, if you're reading this, I hope you feel ashamed of yourself when you see the mug that I happened to notice when I unpacked stuff from Christmas. Don't look too close, your future birthday present is on the shelf.

Finally! We're both in the Blue Seventy suits. They're like a wetsuit material. Kind of fun, right?

This week is the last week of interim, and then I start my last semester. In interim, we talked a little about healings with prayer, and then the NY Times ran an article about parents who are going to trial for their daughter's death (Link here). That opens up a can of worms - on the one hand, God CAN do anything. So we should entrust problems to him, physical as well as emotional and spiritual. But, we have developed hospitals and medicines and it seems as though those are a gift from God that we can use to bring shalom to the world. I don't have a convincing argument either way, although I do know how my actions lie on this issue. And that ambivalence doesn't bother me - perhaps it should?
The team with the main donor and her family.

Learning to Eat (?) like Jesus

Okay, so I absolutely love my More-with-Less cookbook. It's a cookbook that relies on the premise that one's belief in God affects the way one lives, and so, tries to find healthy eating habits in response to that. Its goal is to 'help Christians respond in a caring-sharing way in a world with limited food resources.' Everything I've made from it has been so good (I cooked a macaroni-tomato pie for some friends and oatmeal crumb-topped muffins and they were all approved of) and last night, I made lentil burgers and berry cobbler that were DELICIOUS. (Perhaps some of it was the lovely company.) It really makes me want Lent to come because I've already made some food plans to live more in the act of shalom for Lent. Which means, I really should get started now.

Lentil Burgers
Combine in a bowl:
2 cups cooked, cooled lentils (about 1 cup dry; needs no presoaking)
1 egg
1/2 c cracker crumbs
1 small onion, minced
tomato juice (I used sauce and it worked fine!)
salt and pepper

Mix all ingredients together using just enough tomato juice to hold mixture in shape when pattied. Fry like hamburgers in small amount hot oil, shortening, or bacon fat.

I served them with cheese, mustard and ketchup on buns. Someone suggested adding another egg and making it as meatloaf as well.

Quick Berry Cobbler
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine in bowl:
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c flour
1/2 c milk
1 t baking powder
1/4 t salt

Pour into 9 x 9 greased baking pan. Add:
2 c fruit (fresh, frozen, or canned)
Bake for 40 minutes.

All your ways and all your thunder

"All your ways and all your thunder/
Got me in a haze running for cover/
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna go from here?"
- mat kearney


This is me in my new waterproof jacket (thanks Dad and Diane!), holding up the Blue70 from many of you. There was a new deal where I paid half-price to purchase half of the suit. (Just kidding - it stretches.) For those of you who aren't swimmers, that will take me about 20 minutes to put on. It WILL fit. This upcoming weekend is our meet against Hope in Calvin's new pool (for a glimpse, check out this link and video.)
We just had an invitational in Chicago, in which I had a chance to get mowed down by the UAA swimmer of the week for her butterfly events. w00t.
Also, had a chance to negative split a 50, which nobody can really figure out how or why I do that. Dan, my coach, pointed out that most people have a velocity graph that looks like y= ln x (he may have used other words...) and mine looks like a y = 3x.

More on Learning to Pray like Jesus:

• Praying in Jesus' name has lots of significance. In those olden days, knowing someone's name held a lot of meaning and power. By praying in Jesus' name, it means we can tap into his power in the presence of God. It also involves "praying in the place of Jesus. By using Jesus' name we are declaring that the prayer we are voicing is what Jesus would pray if he himself were speaking." (Grenz, Prayer: The Cry of the Kingdom, 22) If I were to think of that every time I pray, I think my prayers would be radically different. Not omitting petitions for me, but certainly understanding the significance of weightier supplications as well.
  
• As for the Lord's Prayer, the first petition "hallowed be your name" does not just mean "You are holy" as I thought. Hallowed is a verb, meaning "show the holiness of" or "sanctify." It's what Bible scholars refer to as the divine passive voice, the same as what Jesus used when He told people to "Be healed." Because names hold power, the Jewish rarely spoke God's name, and so used the divine passive tense, intimating that God is the subject or active object in the command.
  
• The second petition in the Lord's Prayer is "Thy kingdom come." My professor pointed out that most people don't feel any urgency for Jesus to return, but that we really should be. The best humanitarian action we can take, more than donating time or money, more than praying for reduction of injustices, is to pray that the kingdom returns. Nothing will stop wars, unnecessary deaths and genocides, energy issues and more except for the return of the kingdom, the Parousia, Jesus' return.
• It's actually the combined knowledge of the two above paragraphs that is inspiring me to keep better tabs on the news around the country and the world, because then I'll know what to pray for and what the world needs relief from. If anybody knows of anything that might not be listed on major headlines, pop them in the comments here, please!
• Last thing - I heard a speech about how love transfers into actions. Nobody can get away with telling their wife, "Honey, I love you, believe me. But I am going to ignore our marriage vows. But really, I love you." And yet... what an allegory that is for our relationship with God.