Student, to me, after I checked to see that both sides of his worksheet were done: "What have I ever done to you? I make your life more difficult, but other than that..."
Teacher, to student: "You may be a little bit rude and a little bit self-centered..." Student: "..." Teacher: "No, I'm done."
Student, to teacher: "If you acted more like Student, maybe you'd have a girlfriend."
Teacher: "I'd rather die alone."
Spouse of teacher: "These cookie dough truffles are amazing!" (To which I agreed.)
Me: I can't believe the school year is over!