Unanswerable letters

thank you, Columbus. (marathon training group + a sister)

Dear Makers of Snuggie,

I believe I have found something that is better to do in a regular blanket than in a Snuggie. I was sitting at my computer, wearing my roommate's OSU Snuggie, pretty much looking as attractive as I get - as I'm sure my Michigan fan-friends agree - when the timer rang for the cookies. Unfortunately, cookie tray removal is something that is harder in a Snuggie than in a regular blanket. While I often appreciate the sleeves, they do not act as effective potholders. While I often get annoyed that I slouch enough for the Snuggie to slip forward off my shoulders, it is ever-so-much-more annoying when it slips forward into the oven's vicinity. Luckily for me and my lack of renter's insurance, I was able to handle the difficulty. But, Snuggie Makers, if I were to make a commercial for a regular blanket, I might use an anti-Snuggie moment of pulling cookies out of the oven. I might not be able to change the channel or answer the phone, but I would be able to lean into heated kitchen appliances.

Your fan,

Me.

Dear Unknown Song,

You were amazing last night at Veritas' service. I knew I would want to copy down the lyrics and listen to you on repeat, but I only remember one line ("you are strong, when I am weak") which is, apparently, in quite a large number of Christian songs. If I figure it out, or we sing it again - I will be sure to give you credit for slowing me down on such a glorious Sunday.

Your fan,

Me.

To My Personal Library,

Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge on factors influencing parenting teens and educational attainment and program evaluations of community groups desiring to help. If only there was a nationally representative sample of data, or more input on the directionality of the influence... But alas, poor Yorick, it seems like this will be a good topic to write a 10-12 page paper on these methodological issues.

I was intrigued, MPL, by Julia McSweeney (assuming she's related to McSweeney's literary site) and her article in This American Life on learning more about the Bible. She reads the controversy, which most people do skip right over, and makes some great points that are worth discussing. For example, Jesus speaks in parables all the time - not even His disciples understand - why didn't he just switch to speaking so that others would know what He meant?

Lastly, I am hoping you will continue to grow. I appreciate the time-filling you give me, the time you take away, the non-fiction and the fiction, but I'd love to learn of some good (amateur or not-as-amateur) creative writing blogs. I recently introduced you to Three Stories High, a poetry/ creative venture sight by an educator in Baltimore. Unfortunately, she is so much aligned with my interests that I am afraid to keep looking and find some duds. So, if you want to get to your other library friends (dear readers, this is a metaphor for you) and share any creative writing authors or sites that they enjoy, I would gladly thank them.

Thanks again,

Me.

Dear Grand Rapids,

I am coming to visit in a few weekends. Get excited.

Sincerely,

A Former Resident.