I have not failed, and I still have yet to find 10,000 ways which do not work.

After eating a hot dog (reason number two why I couldn't be a vegetarian!) at a restaurant in Port Clinton, I wanted to make hot dog buns. The bun, rather than being your typical hot dog bun, looked like it had been sliced from a hot dog bun loaf. The sides of the bun weren't brown enough to have cooked all by itself, so I decided to make a short loaf of bread and try to slice it hot-dog style. I started with "Buttermilk bread," a recipe for a simple bread that included only ingredients I had on hand.

If you ever have the time, making a loaf of bread is quite satisfying - between the risings and the mixings, it doesn't take up a lot of your time, but it's a couple-hour endeavor from start to finish. (If you've seen the book about having artisan bread in five minutes a day, don't believe it. It didn't work for us.)

Combine 2 cups unsifted flour, 2 Tbsp. sugar, 2.5 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp. baking soda, and 1 pkg active dry yeast (at room temperature). I also added in some dry milk powder for added protein.

Heat 1 cup buttermilk (i.e. 1 Tbsp. vinegar + enough milk to make 1 cup, after a few minutes), 1 cup water, and 1/3 cup vegetable oil. Mixture will appear curdled, so the recipe says, although mine didn't... I also used brown rice vinegar, but my critic (dear Mother) did not say anything, so it must not have been noticeable.

Add to dry ingredients, beat for 2 minutes at medium speed. Add 1 cup flour, beat at high speed for 2 minutes. Stir in enough flour (I ended up using a little over 5 cups total) to make a soft dough. I also dunk my hands in flour to make the dough easier to knead.

Knead on floured surface 5 to 8 minutes. Place in greased bowl; cover with a damp - not dripping - kitchen towel; let rise 1 hour until doubled. I used the outside, but if you're in Texas where the outside cooks the bread, or you're in Grand Rapids from September - April, simply heat up the oven to low and then turn it off when you put the dough in to rise.

I gave our porch dog a little "water dish" for the hour. After rising, shape into two loaves. Place into two greased 8.5 x 4.5 inch loaf pans. Cover again; let rise about one hour until doubled. Bake for 35 minutes at 375; I pulled mine out closer to 30 minutes. Remove from pans and cool on wire racks. Because I was attempting a hot dog bun loaf, I made one loaf shorter, although not short enough... but I still tried slicing it about halfway down to put in some nice apple chicken sausage from our local farmer's market.

First glance, it looks good. And the bread itself was A+, in my opinion. I'd be hard-pressed to put an exact taste to it, so it's good for jams or other tasty toppings, but it was almost a sweet taste. Unfortunately, my cutting skills failed: just like a normal hot dog bun, the sides fell apart. And when the pieces fell off, it felt weird to eat it with only ketchup. Chicken sausage = sad.

Then, I used my ice cream maker to test a recipe for peanut butter, honey, and banana ice cream. Only, when they say "half-and-half," I think they mean half-and-half, not melted butter plus milk as the correct substitution, and when they say "2% milk," I think they mean 2% milk, not skim. So I'm letting it settle in the freezer. It was a bit liquidy, even after churning for a while.

Currently reading: Off the Deep End by W. Hodding Carter, on a midlife crisis goal to qualify for the Olympics in swimming. (Written before he knew the results) and Total Church by two Englishmen about the pervasive connection between the church and community. And life.

Currently learning about: drunk driving rates of 21-24 year olds, the age group with the highest percentage of alcohol-impaired drivers in fatal crashes. Drunk driving in 2007 killed the equivalent of one person every 40 minutes. (See more information here.)