Michael Phelps doesn't get wet....

Girl: Miss Wolfe, why you all dressed up for something?

Miss Wolfe: This is my "Math Teacher Outfit." And when I wear it, I mean BUSINESS.

She just laughed.

I learned today that I am out of the loop on my lingo.

This boy made a comment about never sleeping, so I said, "Who are you, Chuck Norris?"
And he just looked at me like he couldn't believe I would say that, responding with, "Chuck Norris jokes? Really? It's Michael Phelps now."

I was unaware that Michael Phelps is the new Chuck Norris!

In that case...
Michael Phelps doesn't get wet when he dives in the pool. The pool gets Michael Phelps.

As a tag-along to the above wonderful stories, here is what I sent out in an email to some people - read it if you wish.

My first day of teaching was today! I've been sitting in the classroom, but today I took over the three geometry classes as they started chapter two. Today's topic was "An Introduction to proofs." I was not as nervous as I thought I would be.

At the end of the first class, the talkative boy said, "Miss Wolfe, did we even learn anything today?" I told him that we'll see tomorrow – but I spent the first 50 minutes of the class going through some logical thinking, so hopefully, he just didn't realize that he was learning. I also did Grandpa's proof that 2=1 and made them find the mistake (you can see this if you haven't already; it's all algebraic steps.) The first two classes eventually saw the error, but the third class never figured out the trick, so I didn't tell them.

Then I thought, "Hey! This is a good learning opportunity!" So I went up to board, wrote down "Schadenfreude – taking joy in other people's misery" as a vocab word. I told them that described me as they were trying to figure out how I could get two to equal one. One of the less-motivated students furiously copied it down (others did too, actually) and said "I'm TOTALLY going to use this!" So, at least they learned something, right?